This has been the first time in all these years of pujo that I went to madox square every single day. The pandal as usual is very simply made and the "pratima" was as always very nice. This place happens to be a hub for all those people who stay in and around ballygunge. Actually its so popular that people from other places come and hang around here too.
I usually end up meeting anyone and everyone here during pujo. Since I was there practically every single day I met 5 times the people I generally meet. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It was really funny. The first day I went was not my best because I was dressed quite shabbily and I remember Aditya coming and telling me why I was dressed like "sri aurobindo" (not that he dresses shabily its just that it wasnt quite fit for the occasion. i'll spare u ppl the details.)
I was with rohit and ankhi initially. Rohit was pissed off because we had made plans with a lotta ppl from our class to meet at madox and most of them ditched. He kept hopping around the entire place trying to keep up with a hundred of his friends who happened to meet. Every time someone called and asked where we were he would howl n say " protimar daan dik na baa dike aye!!".Rohini came for like 3 minutes and ran off. Now this is one thing that really ticked me off. I mean no matter where we were he will always make me walk all the way back to idol through all that "bheer-bhaar".
All through he kept on grumbling about how he would never make plans with ug-1 again. hahahahahaha!!!
I ran into a lot of ug-3's there. Rohan dada was being a dude that he is and hanging with the xavarian maals. Nimmo shila da shruti ayashman and loads of other people were there. The only thing they had to say to me-"where is prantick??"..heheheheheheheee....!!
Prantick was late as always and after finishing 50% of my sms balance the guy turns up. I had a good time taking his trip because the fool has gone and bought himself a pair of converse which are not all star!!!....With a lot of help from priyo da and rohan da the evening went off well.
Prantick and priyo da decided to walk me home. Not that they aren't generally chivalrous its just that they lack it most of the time if u know wat i mean. Prantick had enough reason to want to come because since he was late he didn't get much time to spend with me. hahahaha!!
All his hopes and dreams in that context were shattered cause I hardly spoke to him. I was too bust chatting with priyo da about a hundres million things which dont usually crop up in my head when we're in college.
The next day which happened to be oshtomi was saree wearing day. I had the nerve to go to madox in a saree. But this time neither madox nor ppl there got any attention from me cause i was too busy clinging on to my saree. Not to mention trying hard not to trip and fall over ppl with my heels. I can be quite a princess at times really. Finally after a horde of compliments aastha rohan and I ran off to mama mia for dinner!!....
The rest of the days were just random plans with random ppl here n there. And since it is madox u tend to meet ppl there even tho u havent quite made a plan with them. Rohit had a gala time because he got to rip food off from both Ishita and me. But its not that I spared him. He did have to blow cash on me too. hahahahahahaha!!!
All in all, like very year, this year was a blast too.
=)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Pujo 08~ (part one)
SO many people!!....Everywhere.!!...Just people and more people.
It's like this crazy rush everywhere. All sorts of colours and creatures. Aray, I mean u know everyone dresses up like a lot during this time. Well, most people do.(that doesnt mean everyone looks good okay!) Like every year cal pujo is the most happening time of the year. It's like this one big "biye bari" where everyone's invited.
All sorts of mishti and "khabar-dabar" all over the place with the addition of unknown relatives popping in from here and there and everywhere. Now I personally don't have a problem with them because I jsut ignore them, but this whole deal of barging into my room jst to pull my cheeks and watch me wear a sari is very annoying. Ma baba just refuse to understand and play along!!
The sole reason as to why I put up with this nonsense- "Goodies!!!!"( $$$$$)
Yes, I know you must be thinking what a selfish brat I am. *bows*
The good part- All night out with friends. We went to the most random places ever. Not to mention stopping over at the taj bengal just because people wanted to pee!!.=)
We drove around the entire city- from mohamad ali park and college street to behala and bosepukur. We went to salt lake and airport side too. We stopped over at Gautams for chocolate milkshake, coffee and this horrible egg roll which made mudita siddharth n me sick!!
At about 2:30 am we went to jodhpur park. Didnt quite seem like its was the middle of the night. Soooo many people....sucha lotta noise....sooo much of traffic!!" baap re baap"
We did balloon shooting where rashi and addy displayed some pretty good talent. Then came the rides. Mudita siddharth addy n me were jumping for the ferris wheel where as shreedhar chickened out and aastha followed suit. hahahahahahahahaha!!
Since I tend to feel a little scared initially on the ride and addy is well aware of that, he decides to keep my mnd of it by talking about the wierdest things ever- the CAT exams. Last year I remember we had to talk about maths!!...sheesh!...Just imagine. I need a 14 year old to calm me down on a ride.
By the time we finished with the ride, mudita and I were on the verge of puking. (its the egg rolls fault im telling u ).
We pushed off to lake ccd.There we realized that they have only one loo!!!!....God!!
We hung around there for sometime while addy doodled on siddharth's phone after eating up everyone's sandwiches and rashi was giving the ccd ppl advice on their table arrangements and how they should have extra ketchup and mustard sachets on their tables. oh well, after that got over we left. We dropped Mudita home and then reached tivoli court (oh! thats where addy aastha rashi and I stay!!)
Now here comes the best part. Aastha had told her mom that we'd be back by 1. We came home at 4. We didnt know what to do. We decided to go to Rashi's house and spend the night there and next morning tell aunty that we forgot to take the keys and didnt want to disturb people so we hung out at rashi's house. We were in the lift and suddenly aastha's mom called. We were literally struggling to keep the lift door from opening. Addy like a fool pressed the button and the damn door opened with this huge noise loud enough to wake the dead.
The dirty look all three of us flashed at addy was worth watching. really!
Anyway. We ran to aastha's house and made up this cock n bull story about how we were watching a movie at rashi's place and having a gala time. After a lot of pursuading and sorry saying aunty bought the story. She left and aastha and I sighed in relief and went off to bed.
This was one of the days.
Wait till the next one comes.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Agni
"Agne naya supatha raye asman
visvani deva vayunani vidvan;
Yuyodhyasmajjhuranameno
bhuyistham te nama-uktim vidhema."
Some call it a belief
Some say its tolerance
Some made it the foundation and frame
Some used it as a catalyst within.
Some felt it sooth the moment
Some claimed it to be the end.
Some wanted it to be tamed
sadly they did not know it's not easy dancing with a flame.
It brings the invitation to the world beyond
It bears witness to the 7 promises taken
With its existence comes a new bond
And thus it is then that mankind awakend.
visvani deva vayunani vidvan;
Yuyodhyasmajjhuranameno
bhuyistham te nama-uktim vidhema."
Some call it a belief
Some say its tolerance
Some made it the foundation and frame
Some used it as a catalyst within.
Some felt it sooth the moment
Some claimed it to be the end.
Some wanted it to be tamed
sadly they did not know it's not easy dancing with a flame.
It brings the invitation to the world beyond
It bears witness to the 7 promises taken
With its existence comes a new bond
And thus it is then that mankind awakend.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Twisted Wish
I'm feeling evil on a night like this.
It feels like some kind of a twisted wish.
It's tearing me to shreds, laughing at my helpless Fate.
Oozing down slowly, it's the blood of hate.
Pleasured to the full extent, burning me to the ground.
Smacking its lips, oh look what its found!
Fighting for a lust that turned to ash
Struggling for this lie till it's very last.
Swearing by the night's end, its not going to let me pretend.
Well.....not until its fully content.
It feels like some kind of a twisted wish.
It's tearing me to shreds, laughing at my helpless Fate.
Oozing down slowly, it's the blood of hate.
Pleasured to the full extent, burning me to the ground.
Smacking its lips, oh look what its found!
Fighting for a lust that turned to ash
Struggling for this lie till it's very last.
Swearing by the night's end, its not going to let me pretend.
Well.....not until its fully content.
Skyla
In the silver majestic moonlight
A fairy tale turns to dust.
As the witching hour begins
So begins the carnival of rust.
Feeling lost and confused
Feeling lost and used.
Dreaming of far off lands, covered in sand
Within all the battles and the sparks
Searching for the light, the light in the dark.
She belongs to the warmth, heat and the flame
Does she believe that life is a game?
Consumed by Fate and mistrust
How will she encounter the truth and the just?
Chasing her own monsters, dreaming her own dreams.
Fighting the freezing cold with fire
Aiming high, she will grasp her desires.
Enabling the impossible without the obvious obstacles
At times locked up in the cages. with her thoughts
Gobbled up in some visually categorized stages.
Resisting the night, enduring the day
Strength, knowledge and power to take them without further delay.
A fairy tale turns to dust.
As the witching hour begins
So begins the carnival of rust.
Feeling lost and confused
Feeling lost and used.
Dreaming of far off lands, covered in sand
Within all the battles and the sparks
Searching for the light, the light in the dark.
She belongs to the warmth, heat and the flame
Does she believe that life is a game?
Consumed by Fate and mistrust
How will she encounter the truth and the just?
Chasing her own monsters, dreaming her own dreams.
Fighting the freezing cold with fire
Aiming high, she will grasp her desires.
Enabling the impossible without the obvious obstacles
At times locked up in the cages. with her thoughts
Gobbled up in some visually categorized stages.
Resisting the night, enduring the day
Strength, knowledge and power to take them without further delay.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Chaos Theory.
Chaos.
A lot of chaos.
And not because there were 3500 candidates for the exam.
But because of the parents of more than 85% of those candidates.
Man!!.....Do you have the slightest idea as to how annoying it is to have parents fluttering about when you're there for an entrance. It's like my child will die if I don't be with him/her. My child has not given the class 12 exams. He/she has just learned how to walk. I must be with my child or else some grave problem shall befall him/her and thus his/her career will me doomed for ever.
I mean it's like most of the confusion and problem was created but exceptionally nosy parents.
They want their child's name and roll number to be called out before any one else's. They will not breathe till they have personally ensured that the child is sitting in the assigned room.
What's even worse- THEY WILL SPREAD NEWSPAPERS ON THE CORIDOOR LEADING TO THE EXAMINATION HALL AND SIT THERE AND WAIT TILL THE PAPER IS OVER AND THE KID IS OUT.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Lord what has the world come to!!!!...............It's like a rapid fire round regarding the exam awaits them the minute they step out of the hall. It's either that or the fact that they're being stuffed with food in their mouth as if they haven't eaten for centuries cause they were in space all this time. sheeesh!!!!
Most of my entrances were ushered in with a lot of rain!!....A LOT OF RAIN! It was actually quite funny cause watching a whole lot of weird people panic because they thought theywouldn't make it was hilarious. All sorts of colourful umbrellas and parents going wild was one hell of an experience. I had a good laugh.
It's actually been quite a while since I genuinely had a good laugh about such stupid issues.
A lot of chaos.
And not because there were 3500 candidates for the exam.
But because of the parents of more than 85% of those candidates.
Man!!.....Do you have the slightest idea as to how annoying it is to have parents fluttering about when you're there for an entrance. It's like my child will die if I don't be with him/her. My child has not given the class 12 exams. He/she has just learned how to walk. I must be with my child or else some grave problem shall befall him/her and thus his/her career will me doomed for ever.
I mean it's like most of the confusion and problem was created but exceptionally nosy parents.
They want their child's name and roll number to be called out before any one else's. They will not breathe till they have personally ensured that the child is sitting in the assigned room.
What's even worse- THEY WILL SPREAD NEWSPAPERS ON THE CORIDOOR LEADING TO THE EXAMINATION HALL AND SIT THERE AND WAIT TILL THE PAPER IS OVER AND THE KID IS OUT.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Lord what has the world come to!!!!...............It's like a rapid fire round regarding the exam awaits them the minute they step out of the hall. It's either that or the fact that they're being stuffed with food in their mouth as if they haven't eaten for centuries cause they were in space all this time. sheeesh!!!!
Most of my entrances were ushered in with a lot of rain!!....A LOT OF RAIN! It was actually quite funny cause watching a whole lot of weird people panic because they thought theywouldn't make it was hilarious. All sorts of colourful umbrellas and parents going wild was one hell of an experience. I had a good laugh.
It's actually been quite a while since I genuinely had a good laugh about such stupid issues.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Admissions-"BLEH"~
As Darwin once said-"we will now discuss. a little bit more in detail, the struggle for existence"
I've been filling all sorts of forms for the past 2-3 weeks and all I can say is this- "COLLEGE ADMISSIONS SUCK!!!!"
At one end you're worrying about getting into a "good" college and at the other end there are your parents (who are just being their usual selves) also worrying along with you. (that's like adding fuel to the fire). Now let me clarify this point here. "Worrying" can be of different kinds.
I'm worried. I have to get into college. A good one. I log on. Search. And do the needful. (fill in forms, go to the damn place, stand in never ending lines etc etc.)
My mom is worried.
She screams at everyone she can lay her eyes on. If I'm out a wee-bit longer than usual I have either decided to run away from home or have lost my way!!!!!.
My dad is worried.
Everyday-"i have done my duty by putting you in a good school. Now it is your responsibility to get into a good college."
(true true.)
THE FORMS!!
Inadequate information about how the damn online forms are supposed to be filled all (not)over the net. The software designed for the submission of online forms especially for calcutta university has definitely fucked up the area where you put in the marks cause all the damn subjects DO NOT FIT!!!!!
You are asked to write down your address atleast 5 times for god alone knows what reason.
Family income has to be mentioned CORRECTLY!!( well obviously. on that basis theyre gonna ask us fer the donation rite??....silly me!)
Some colleges ask you if you're married or not. (i actually wanted to tick yes. dad made a face so i dumped the idea!!)
Most of the colleges make their income through these sheets of paper. The banks are enjoying themselves. Why not!!. The demand drafts made in favour of the colleges give them their incentives too. Example- 60/- application money, 38/-extra charge at the bank. total-98 bucks gone!!!!!......sheesh!!
Some forms have to be attested. School takes ages to attest one damn document. That also they decided to screw up my presi admit card nicely by signing right over my face in the passport size snap. idiots!!
When ur there standing in line (which is like never-ending) and u see practically all your batchmates there applying for the same damn thing as you are- you realize the amount of shit u are in especially when your grades are lower than theirs. What kicks u harder- their sitting for the same entrances as you are!!!!......great!!!!
People usually stand for the forms since like 4 in the morning!!( some enthu man!!). I was fortunate. i did most of my stuff online. on the day of submission i had seniors to help me out and thus that really sped up my applications. (yay!!)
so there you have it. a million xeroxes here and there. all those given for attestation and then school tells u that u have to pay them more than a 100 bucks for a transfer certificate. What's even worse- EVERYONE GETS THE SAME CHARACTER CERTIFICATE!!!!
ROBBERY IN BROAD DAYLIGHT I TELL YOU!!!
oh well. i have entrances to give and a college to get into.
sigh*
I've been filling all sorts of forms for the past 2-3 weeks and all I can say is this- "COLLEGE ADMISSIONS SUCK!!!!"
At one end you're worrying about getting into a "good" college and at the other end there are your parents (who are just being their usual selves) also worrying along with you. (that's like adding fuel to the fire). Now let me clarify this point here. "Worrying" can be of different kinds.
I'm worried. I have to get into college. A good one. I log on. Search. And do the needful. (fill in forms, go to the damn place, stand in never ending lines etc etc.)
My mom is worried.
She screams at everyone she can lay her eyes on. If I'm out a wee-bit longer than usual I have either decided to run away from home or have lost my way!!!!!.
My dad is worried.
Everyday-"i have done my duty by putting you in a good school. Now it is your responsibility to get into a good college."
(true true.)
THE FORMS!!
Inadequate information about how the damn online forms are supposed to be filled all (not)over the net. The software designed for the submission of online forms especially for calcutta university has definitely fucked up the area where you put in the marks cause all the damn subjects DO NOT FIT!!!!!
You are asked to write down your address atleast 5 times for god alone knows what reason.
Family income has to be mentioned CORRECTLY!!( well obviously. on that basis theyre gonna ask us fer the donation rite??....silly me!)
Some colleges ask you if you're married or not. (i actually wanted to tick yes. dad made a face so i dumped the idea!!)
Most of the colleges make their income through these sheets of paper. The banks are enjoying themselves. Why not!!. The demand drafts made in favour of the colleges give them their incentives too. Example- 60/- application money, 38/-extra charge at the bank. total-98 bucks gone!!!!!......sheesh!!
Some forms have to be attested. School takes ages to attest one damn document. That also they decided to screw up my presi admit card nicely by signing right over my face in the passport size snap. idiots!!
When ur there standing in line (which is like never-ending) and u see practically all your batchmates there applying for the same damn thing as you are- you realize the amount of shit u are in especially when your grades are lower than theirs. What kicks u harder- their sitting for the same entrances as you are!!!!......great!!!!
People usually stand for the forms since like 4 in the morning!!( some enthu man!!). I was fortunate. i did most of my stuff online. on the day of submission i had seniors to help me out and thus that really sped up my applications. (yay!!)
so there you have it. a million xeroxes here and there. all those given for attestation and then school tells u that u have to pay them more than a 100 bucks for a transfer certificate. What's even worse- EVERYONE GETS THE SAME CHARACTER CERTIFICATE!!!!
ROBBERY IN BROAD DAYLIGHT I TELL YOU!!!
oh well. i have entrances to give and a college to get into.
sigh*
*Twilight
I'm going to be 19 in a few days.
when I think about being 19 I get this weird rumble in my tummy.
yes.
it's the last of the teens
I'm not going to be a "teenager" any more.
This white flower is my 18 year old self.
I like this picture.
I'm going to be 19.
I'm 18 right now.
Since I'm going to be 19, I should take some time out and think. 19 is the age to stop and look back. Reality check is on its way. I'm scared to go beyond. I don't know what will happen.
I'm not sure.
Love came easily at 17. Didn't realize when its took me away. Well submerged in those eyes entangled in joys too deep to express. That time it was sweet secured and safe." so i say a lil prayer and hope my dreams'll take me there
where the skies are blue to see u once again my love"
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Speak
The conflict within-Part 2
There are so many times when you want to say something and you can’t. Either you don’t know how to put it or you don’t know what to put in it. Circumstances usually decide the way we look at things. Just when you’re on the verge of saying something really really important- so important that you need to get it out of your system as soon as possible, the situation becomes such that you’re either confused or forced to retreat.
Its like this lump gets stuck to your throat and then you’re wondering whether you want to let it out or just gulp it down. Most of the time it ends up being the latter one. The divorce between thinking of doing something and doing what you think makes life a little less than ordinary- and exceptionally complicated.
Actually, you really cant tell how complicated it is. Because the human mind can really stretch to farthest points when it comes to imaginations and wonders. So it would be kind of incorrect to say that its like a major complication because you really don’t know whether this is the craziest thing you’ve ever thought of or whether you’re capable of more.
People in and around us have a major impact on what we want, should, can and could say. Sometimes the slightest words or comments can change an entire perspective or feelings of a person so much so that the thought of what was going to be said is lost somewhere in complexes, ego’s, attitudes and every other internal feeling that you can muster.
Sometimes expressions can prevent a persons reaction to a particular situation or comment. Its like people will glare at you or roll their eyes or make funny faces to shut you up.
Assumptions and presumptions are reasons why most people don’t say what they want to. They worry more about what’s going to happen if they speak rather than realize that maybe if they did speak it wouldn’t be all that bad. Oh well, that’s a different story altogether.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Not for Glory.
Placed, positioned, posed.
Motions swirl to dance, a wildness in every move.
Passion in one's preparation
given the story of one's aspiration.
A moment of liberation, a windswept borderline.
Having crossed the desert, bleak and bare
time more limited in scope, in the ecstasy of fibs.
However quite likely for rejection, one contemplates a range of fates,
even when one knows the final score.
Guilt is said to be the trademark of humiliation,
frozen in a scream that is never heard.
The stage is set, adorned with some strange beauty.
It is known, after all isn't it burnt into the flesh of memory?
As time steals the time away.
Part witness and part conqueror, the past does not depart.
Part victim and part comforter, exotic, erotic, excessively impressed.
Each minute is more vital than it seems
vested in a vague peculiar momentous mission.
Motions swirl to dance, a wildness in every move.
Passion in one's preparation
given the story of one's aspiration.
A moment of liberation, a windswept borderline.
Having crossed the desert, bleak and bare
time more limited in scope, in the ecstasy of fibs.
However quite likely for rejection, one contemplates a range of fates,
even when one knows the final score.
Guilt is said to be the trademark of humiliation,
frozen in a scream that is never heard.
The stage is set, adorned with some strange beauty.
It is known, after all isn't it burnt into the flesh of memory?
As time steals the time away.
Part witness and part conqueror, the past does not depart.
Part victim and part comforter, exotic, erotic, excessively impressed.
Each minute is more vital than it seems
vested in a vague peculiar momentous mission.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Presiiiii...........
I went to Presidency college day before yesterday........and fell in love.............
no no.....not with some"one" but with some"thing".
The College!!!!!.....I Love It.!
It's not exactly the cleanest and the most sophisticated place ever.The new additions on campus are nice especially the n.s something building is blue and white in colour and very big. You go behind that place and you happen to encroach upon a lotta ppl's private moments and conversations. So as per principle...DO NOT GO THERE!!!!
On one side of that there is the derozio hall and building. Now that is nice because firstly the eco dept. which is like the best dept. there, is in that building. (yay!!) And secondly, I personally like that building a lot because for some funny reason it really appeals to me.
Coming away from there down the path with the field (huge one!!) on ur left and the science (as in phys chem etc. etc.) dept. on ur right, you begin to realize this tinkling feeling in ur tummy that tells u that ur hungry!! The canteen obviously would be the next stop. Now that place is probably the sexiest canteen I have ever seen. No! It's not adorned with classy furniture, neither is it postered with fancy menu's and topped off with posh waiters ready to serve at ur beck n call.
It's ragged, old, junky, posters of SFI and IC plastered al over the walls, people fagging and it smells like my garage!!( dont ask why!!) But the minute u enter the place trust me u wont wanna leave. I could probably sit there the entire day and do NOTHING!! The stuff u get there are like really cheap so lunch'll go really easy on ur pocket!!
The main building was very interesting cause actually that is the first thing u'll cum across as u enter the college. Now the interesting thing is that it has HUGE STAIRS!!!....No im not kidding!! They're like HUGE!!!................
Incase u plan not to climb them you can always take the coridoors which are there on each side as u enter. So its like, u either take the stairs or u run off in the corridors!!
Next were the windows!!.....They were also HUGE!!!!....and dusty of course!!
As sneha said :"They're better than French windows dude!!"
When u luk around here n there u'll see a lotta doggies basking in the sun and pigeons fluttering like mad here n there. It's such an encouraging site I tell u!!!!..hehehehehehehehehehe.......
So well, then once ur up the stairs, thats the arts dept. So a lotta class rooms, old ones here n there. A few professors here n there too. Well, since i was the one in shorts n converse, i did get cheked out a wee bit but then it was ok. HEy!! it was HOT!!!....(I mean the weather!!)......
So basically it was good fun, aishani showed us around, we loafed about ourselves also. I had technically gone there to collect some sample papers for the entrance, but since Raktim ditched, it became more of an outing with a lotta sight seeing involved.
I'm yet to understand the whole SFI and IC trash. Both seem pretty cool. The ppl are even cooler. I know im going to get hammered if i keep saying all this!!!. Right now the only thing that should bother me is "THE ENTRANCE"
I mean, im least bothered about the ragging and shit cause well, ragging me would be like banging your head against a wall.!!! (no im not threatening ne one!!)
I really really want to go to presi. its such an amazing college. I know im going to have a blast for sure.
Ps: Samik!!!.....I need help with maths!!!!!!!!
When is Raktim giving me the papers!!!!!!!!????????
no no.....not with some"one" but with some"thing".
The College!!!!!.....I Love It.!
It's not exactly the cleanest and the most sophisticated place ever.The new additions on campus are nice especially the n.s something building is blue and white in colour and very big. You go behind that place and you happen to encroach upon a lotta ppl's private moments and conversations. So as per principle...DO NOT GO THERE!!!!
On one side of that there is the derozio hall and building. Now that is nice because firstly the eco dept. which is like the best dept. there, is in that building. (yay!!) And secondly, I personally like that building a lot because for some funny reason it really appeals to me.
Coming away from there down the path with the field (huge one!!) on ur left and the science (as in phys chem etc. etc.) dept. on ur right, you begin to realize this tinkling feeling in ur tummy that tells u that ur hungry!! The canteen obviously would be the next stop. Now that place is probably the sexiest canteen I have ever seen. No! It's not adorned with classy furniture, neither is it postered with fancy menu's and topped off with posh waiters ready to serve at ur beck n call.
It's ragged, old, junky, posters of SFI and IC plastered al over the walls, people fagging and it smells like my garage!!( dont ask why!!) But the minute u enter the place trust me u wont wanna leave. I could probably sit there the entire day and do NOTHING!! The stuff u get there are like really cheap so lunch'll go really easy on ur pocket!!
The main building was very interesting cause actually that is the first thing u'll cum across as u enter the college. Now the interesting thing is that it has HUGE STAIRS!!!....No im not kidding!! They're like HUGE!!!................
Incase u plan not to climb them you can always take the coridoors which are there on each side as u enter. So its like, u either take the stairs or u run off in the corridors!!
Next were the windows!!.....They were also HUGE!!!!....and dusty of course!!
As sneha said :"They're better than French windows dude!!"
When u luk around here n there u'll see a lotta doggies basking in the sun and pigeons fluttering like mad here n there. It's such an encouraging site I tell u!!!!..hehehehehehehehehehe.......
So well, then once ur up the stairs, thats the arts dept. So a lotta class rooms, old ones here n there. A few professors here n there too. Well, since i was the one in shorts n converse, i did get cheked out a wee bit but then it was ok. HEy!! it was HOT!!!....(I mean the weather!!)......
So basically it was good fun, aishani showed us around, we loafed about ourselves also. I had technically gone there to collect some sample papers for the entrance, but since Raktim ditched, it became more of an outing with a lotta sight seeing involved.
I'm yet to understand the whole SFI and IC trash. Both seem pretty cool. The ppl are even cooler. I know im going to get hammered if i keep saying all this!!!. Right now the only thing that should bother me is "THE ENTRANCE"
I mean, im least bothered about the ragging and shit cause well, ragging me would be like banging your head against a wall.!!! (no im not threatening ne one!!)
I really really want to go to presi. its such an amazing college. I know im going to have a blast for sure.
Ps: Samik!!!.....I need help with maths!!!!!!!!
When is Raktim giving me the papers!!!!!!!!????????
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
The 4th court.
It was really really hot. Like it always was.
The clay court was emitting all the heat it could. It never usually mattered that much. That day it was making a difference.
Why?
I was alone.
Everywhere I looked reminded me of those days. It looked so incomplete.
The wind was blowing, and I could hear our voices. Those days of chasing pups, missing rounds, forehands, backhands, services and volleys.
The doubles matches.
Giving our "autographs" on the attendance register.
The never-ending water breaks.
The patent walk to Upper Crust to eat.
That last court is a graveyard.
Perfect friendship lies there, supposedly in peace.
Walking on the red clay I can feel the memories surging through me. It's as if they're there, lying dormant, waiting for one of us to come by so it can fall back. Even the memories need us to go on.
The net, that bench, the trees, the boundary lines......everything remembers us.
We were all that they ever wanted. All that they ever had.
Everything on that court became a part of us and we became a part of them. There was this sparkle when 4 of us were there. Its as if the surroundings would wait for wednesday afternoons to come so that they could all come alive.
I can't get myself to play there alone. Even if people are there, its not US.
It's stupid not to let go.
But somehow, this is one thing that I just can't let go of.
I guess everyone has something they had to let go of.
Once upon a time, I did lose myself. And I can't tell u how good that felt.
But then a reality check told me that magic is nothing but an illusion.
So here I am. Back.
But I keep going there.
Maybe someday that magic could hit me and we could live it..........one last time.
The clay court was emitting all the heat it could. It never usually mattered that much. That day it was making a difference.
Why?
I was alone.
Everywhere I looked reminded me of those days. It looked so incomplete.
The wind was blowing, and I could hear our voices. Those days of chasing pups, missing rounds, forehands, backhands, services and volleys.
The doubles matches.
Giving our "autographs" on the attendance register.
The never-ending water breaks.
The patent walk to Upper Crust to eat.
That last court is a graveyard.
Perfect friendship lies there, supposedly in peace.
Walking on the red clay I can feel the memories surging through me. It's as if they're there, lying dormant, waiting for one of us to come by so it can fall back. Even the memories need us to go on.
The net, that bench, the trees, the boundary lines......everything remembers us.
We were all that they ever wanted. All that they ever had.
Everything on that court became a part of us and we became a part of them. There was this sparkle when 4 of us were there. Its as if the surroundings would wait for wednesday afternoons to come so that they could all come alive.
I can't get myself to play there alone. Even if people are there, its not US.
It's stupid not to let go.
But somehow, this is one thing that I just can't let go of.
I guess everyone has something they had to let go of.
Once upon a time, I did lose myself. And I can't tell u how good that felt.
But then a reality check told me that magic is nothing but an illusion.
So here I am. Back.
But I keep going there.
Maybe someday that magic could hit me and we could live it..........one last time.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Just my Luck.
"the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses"
-"afterglow"INXS.
Perhaps I just need a few moments alone........just to reflect. Catch a glimpse of someone struggle with all the perfection that can be musterred. Everyone needs time........clear still light to just bring them back... Have you ever seen the way light caught in the blaze of well-cut jewels struggles?.... no one knows its struggling.... no one knows the clautrophobic sensation its going through. ....it looks so beautiful being tortured doesn't it??
I supposedly find it really hard to tell people what I really think and feel at times. My batchmates used to tell me that I'd make a pretty good politician since " you never say what you really mean." I often wonder if it was all true. Sometimes it didn't seem all that bad an idea as well. My parents would obviously throw a fit, but then again its their job to do so. They always do "odd" things when I decide to just "do my own thing". Needless to say, they don't know me. My mom has a slight idea about the size of my clothes, but she's never too sure so she always screws up with the jeans and the salwat suits. Sometimes her tastes dont match with mine and when I tell her so she gets all wierd. Mom's like this litlte violent kid who'll start throwing tantrums the minute things don't go her way. Lately she's been really obsessed about giving as many "social gathering" clothes because apparently I look like a rag in general. She wants my wardrobe to have a complete make-over. This basically means that she wants all my kinda clothes out and all her bull-shit in. She thinks I'm already through Presidency and that if I go to college dressed the way I usually am, I'm gonna get kicked out.
I got really lucky today. My mother wants me to appear for the Presidency math honours entrance. She told my tuition teacher so and to my surprise my teacher for once in his god damn life decided to save my life. He talked her out of it and explained very clearly that the fact that I would have math as a pass course would be deadly enough.
Mom's really lost it. I've been trying so hard to tell her that dude!, just cause I sed i'd do eco doesnt mean stat n math are supposed to back ups. I kinda wanted english, but the way she's reacting at home, its best if I kept my mouth shut. It's funny how in public she says that " my daughter will do what she likes" and then at home she growls at the sound of english hons. I guess this dual thingy is a trait among all gemini's. It's easy to tell people that " arey fight man! it's ur life!!". When you actually get down to the battlefield and see your parents armed with all the emotional backmail and every possibe mean and method ready to make you do what they want, it gets a wee bit difficult. And it gets harder when you cant cry and tell people. If i'd cry, it wouldnt be because I'm hurt. It would be cause I cant do anything. I'd cry cause I'm helpless.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Thank you.........
Dearest You,
I know what, yet not why. But I still thank you for letting me die. It's been so long and now as I undo all that you have done for me, the chain has broken. I looked at you one last time and you told me how it should end. Rechanneling a Fate that cannot be changed is the victory that you gave away. I think of watching you from this place more real than real,more want than why. Your pain had become my legacy, so it's time to sail across that bitter sea. Soon I will step out of the chronos to become nothing more than a memory very few can recall. I'm taking a bit of eternity in my soul. When it came and when it will go is like a wonder, locked behind that door.
No time is better or worse. Love is a loss that one can't reimburse. No longer either separate or together, I thank you for all that you have done.
Good-Bye.
Yours lovingly,
ME
I know what, yet not why. But I still thank you for letting me die. It's been so long and now as I undo all that you have done for me, the chain has broken. I looked at you one last time and you told me how it should end. Rechanneling a Fate that cannot be changed is the victory that you gave away. I think of watching you from this place more real than real,more want than why. Your pain had become my legacy, so it's time to sail across that bitter sea. Soon I will step out of the chronos to become nothing more than a memory very few can recall. I'm taking a bit of eternity in my soul. When it came and when it will go is like a wonder, locked behind that door.
No time is better or worse. Love is a loss that one can't reimburse. No longer either separate or together, I thank you for all that you have done.
Good-Bye.
Yours lovingly,
ME
The struggle to be Me.
The sound of wind chimes fade into the room.
A lot can happen on a rain washed evening and letters.
A tale begins, fast fading into the past, fast growing into the future.
Long lost dreams and poetry entwine themsleves in a tapestry of stories.
She looked at the mirror which reflected nothing but the fact of life. A mirror never lies. How can it? Unlike everything else it is not controlled by any external force. Dew drops on the flowers, drenched with pain and horror soaked with nightmares claiming to penetrate dreams thus impinging every waking moment lived or not.
Memories are locked away in those leather-bound pages. She is a contradiction between excitement and repose. She wishes to be detached and is equated to damage and destruction. Full of infinite possibilites, she is capable of all. Born in the realm of the anonymity of death, she is a nameless fear yet a silent strength lingering on till the very end.
Interpreting her moves, sometimes represent the brutality of the clinical and the barren chastity of truth. Swift and strong, between the lightning struck trees and the negation of all that is good, a facet is revealed. Sinister, violent, venomous, decietful, yet versatile. Confident, elegant, invigorating and synonymous to life itslef. She calls upon the powers of the stars- ancient forces near and far. Having passed through the circles of hell and the blankness of oblivian she awakens chaos and disorder. The begining of the end. The faint moonbeam in the sky gifts her the cape of camouflauge. She smiles. But wryly.
Saturated and stimulating she continues within the eternal flow of emotions. The artists pallete is left untouched. The colours have dried and hardened with the passage of time.The painting sold at an exhibition and forgotten. She is combination of mystery and power, boon and curse, concepts and misconceptions, negation and appreciation, reality and a devouring flame who has the final word.
Incomplete and meaningless she merges with the kaliedoscopic dreams and filters through the mind. The breeze carries her away on a love letter with the fresh air and the smoke. Her visions gone astray dotted with the marks of betrayal and injustice. Her apparent exterior of newness is fake. Elusively calm on the surface yet a storm brewing beneath, she dazzles with splendour and never fails to attract attention.
Her perception vary among people. She fades away with the arrival of the pale mauve sunset, leaving behind a sense of reverie.
Not many can deny her mystical charm. She binds all that stands its ground, hoping that someday she will reveal herself.
My Sanctuary.
For all those people who have no idea as to what I'm talking about-
Jetty is this little stretch of lotsa lovely things just off the banks of the hooghly. To be more specific(as I'm always asked to be) its the area unfer the vidyasagar setu.(please don't say you don't know where or what that is!!)
Unlike the area in and around the golden gate bridge at sanfransisco(heavily expensive), this place happens to be the most filthy yet the most beautiful place ever. okay, maybe not the most beautiful place in cal considering the fact that that we have places like red road and stuff. (no! no malls!!)
Babughaat- or "jetty" is this place that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE from the core of my heart.
Initially, I had no clue that such a place did exist in cal. (same on me!)
It happened like this- one fine morning aastha told me that she knew this place which would be perfect to just chill early in the morning. I'm not exactly a morning person and personally thought that she was off her rocker cause I was under the impression that nothing on this planet can make me feel genuinly happy early in the morning.(unless its my bday or sumthing)
and so....she brought me to jetty.
The first thing I noticed about the place was that we were the only "city kids" there. The localites there were all in lungees and vests, sticks shoved in their mouth, eyes half-shut and yawning away to glory. My immediate reaction was-" aastha you idiot!! what the fuck are we doing here early in the morning!!!!"
I was so mad at her! After like a second or two, people began to realize that we were there and they checked us out from head to toe.( this happens very often in cal especially when women are around-irrespective of being good looking or not!)
I could feel the irritation rise within me. I wanted to leave. But my freind had other plans.
Aastha told me to ignore them and follow her. Considering the fact that she usually knows what she's doing(unlike me!) I followed her still grumbling under my breathe.
We went along till this little staircase made of stones and covered with moss appeared. We began to wak down when I saw that there were these beautiful boats lined up. Now these were not the types which are like the modern day boats. This is was just the way a boat is supposed to be-crude,ragged,terrible colour combinations and a wierd looking guy ready to earn his bread for the day by taking us for a ride on the river under the bridge.
We went on and sat. The wind began to blow and we were slowly moving away from the bank.
I looked around with the most bewildered expressions on my face because all of a sudden I felt so happy. Water all around, the clear blue sky and the wind blowing at the most perfect speed ever. Both of us decided to just lie down on the boat and look up at the sky and enjoy that half-and-hour by not thinking about anything!
Since I am a little impatient I did get up once in a while and look around here and there. I saw people near the banks getting ready with all sorts of nets and hooks, people taking a bath in a corner, kids trying to do weird catch thingy's far away.
The entire feeling of being on that boat and jsut being there and doing nothing is the bestest time that I usually have. I can't describe my exact feelings because those words dont exist in the english dictionary. Just go and find out for yourself. I cant guarantee if you'll like it our not but I'll tell you-its beautiful.
I love it loads. But I make it a point not to got there all the time. You see, jetty happens to be the only place where I would want to go when I'm on the edge of loosing myself. Jetty is my sanctaury and going there all the time would just spoil that quaint little thing which I have for that place.
I'm yet to experience the shikara ride in the evening with the stars above and the fire torches around. I've heard its good fun. Especially cause the crowd begins to come in around that time all for the chaats and balloon shooting and blah blah blah..............
That I'm sure is great but nothing like seeing the sun rise behind the trees when ur lying down on a boat with the wind just playing around you.
I wonder if heaven's as good as jetty........................
Jetty is this little stretch of lotsa lovely things just off the banks of the hooghly. To be more specific(as I'm always asked to be) its the area unfer the vidyasagar setu.(please don't say you don't know where or what that is!!)
Unlike the area in and around the golden gate bridge at sanfransisco(heavily expensive), this place happens to be the most filthy yet the most beautiful place ever. okay, maybe not the most beautiful place in cal considering the fact that that we have places like red road and stuff. (no! no malls!!)
Babughaat- or "jetty" is this place that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE from the core of my heart.
Initially, I had no clue that such a place did exist in cal. (same on me!)
It happened like this- one fine morning aastha told me that she knew this place which would be perfect to just chill early in the morning. I'm not exactly a morning person and personally thought that she was off her rocker cause I was under the impression that nothing on this planet can make me feel genuinly happy early in the morning.(unless its my bday or sumthing)
and so....she brought me to jetty.
The first thing I noticed about the place was that we were the only "city kids" there. The localites there were all in lungees and vests, sticks shoved in their mouth, eyes half-shut and yawning away to glory. My immediate reaction was-" aastha you idiot!! what the fuck are we doing here early in the morning!!!!"
I was so mad at her! After like a second or two, people began to realize that we were there and they checked us out from head to toe.( this happens very often in cal especially when women are around-irrespective of being good looking or not!)
I could feel the irritation rise within me. I wanted to leave. But my freind had other plans.
Aastha told me to ignore them and follow her. Considering the fact that she usually knows what she's doing(unlike me!) I followed her still grumbling under my breathe.
We went along till this little staircase made of stones and covered with moss appeared. We began to wak down when I saw that there were these beautiful boats lined up. Now these were not the types which are like the modern day boats. This is was just the way a boat is supposed to be-crude,ragged,terrible colour combinations and a wierd looking guy ready to earn his bread for the day by taking us for a ride on the river under the bridge.
We went on and sat. The wind began to blow and we were slowly moving away from the bank.
I looked around with the most bewildered expressions on my face because all of a sudden I felt so happy. Water all around, the clear blue sky and the wind blowing at the most perfect speed ever. Both of us decided to just lie down on the boat and look up at the sky and enjoy that half-and-hour by not thinking about anything!
Since I am a little impatient I did get up once in a while and look around here and there. I saw people near the banks getting ready with all sorts of nets and hooks, people taking a bath in a corner, kids trying to do weird catch thingy's far away.
The entire feeling of being on that boat and jsut being there and doing nothing is the bestest time that I usually have. I can't describe my exact feelings because those words dont exist in the english dictionary. Just go and find out for yourself. I cant guarantee if you'll like it our not but I'll tell you-its beautiful.
I love it loads. But I make it a point not to got there all the time. You see, jetty happens to be the only place where I would want to go when I'm on the edge of loosing myself. Jetty is my sanctaury and going there all the time would just spoil that quaint little thing which I have for that place.
I'm yet to experience the shikara ride in the evening with the stars above and the fire torches around. I've heard its good fun. Especially cause the crowd begins to come in around that time all for the chaats and balloon shooting and blah blah blah..............
That I'm sure is great but nothing like seeing the sun rise behind the trees when ur lying down on a boat with the wind just playing around you.
I wonder if heaven's as good as jetty........................
Juni's sleepover.
My parents are usually dead against sleepovers. Their patent reason: "Every house has their own rules...andf you can't accept them GET OUT!!" I agree with the part about every house having their own rules but some of the rules are really crappy. I mean, what's the big deal about staying over at a friend's house? Mom says that when she was young dida would never let her be out of the house after 7. So? That was her thinking. Why are you keeping the tradition up?.Generations change. The rules should also change.Dynamism is an essential feature of the Indian Economy.So why not make it a part of the Indian Family Rules System. Sometimes leaving home doesn't seem that bad an option. But then again, where would I go?Juni's ISC ended on the 27th. She had been planning this seepover for quite sometime now.And I really wanted to go because this would me my first sleepover with my school friends.The only sleepover's I had somehow been allowed for were the one's at aastha's house and that to because she stayed in the same compound as me and my folks had seen us together since class 3. I decided to stand my ground this time and really fight it if they weren't going to allow me.Luckily I didn't have t fight much but mom decided to be a major piss off and do all the investigation possible before she could break it to dad. She even decided to come and drop me and sneha to juni's house personally. Now this really bugged me. I mean I'm 18 years old. She still wants to treat me like a baby!!!Now that that part was over, we were at her house and all set to have a blast. We started with me jamming on that untuned piano of her's. Zombie & Truly Madly Deeply were some of the songs which these people made a mess of while trying to sing. After that we went off to her room to watch a movie before which we were treated to kookie jar goodies!!....We decided to watch "bedazzled" although I kept on insisting that we watched some action stuff. But then majority one. The movie went off just fine and we had a ball of a time hooting and passing comments about a lot of things.*winks*While the movie was on we had a fer interuptions with respect to the positions we were on the bed. Now I kindly request the reader's not to get ideas!. Sneha wanted cocoa and Juni wanted to lean on one of us and I was being shoved away in odd manners. After a lot of effort we managed to stay still till the movie finished.Dinner was the next best thing that we could think of. Meatza pizza. 2 of them, one with olives and one with onions, medium sized, one with the cheese burst crust and the other with the deep dish crust. Accompanied with coke and choco fudge cake and brownies and music-yani to be more precise we were on cloud 9. Had a little photo-session in the middle too!!Then we decided to play the "game of life", a board game that I had last played when I was in class 4. I was the one having the best time there cause I was "unemployed", had the most "number of kids" and was the "richest". Needless to say that I won even after sneha and juni tried to steal from me the most!!.By the time we finished playing it was 12 and we wished juni's dad happy birthday while I played the piano. Although I'm sure uncle's heard way better choirs in his life he sort of liked our performance a lot! We weren't sleepy so we decided to watch another movie "alladin"Now that didn't quite happen cause in the middle we started talking about serious issues encompassing our lives and trying to find solutions to it. That took up a lot of time and by the time we knew it, it was really really late. Since we had plans the next morning, we decided to turn in for the night mut again, didnt happend. Juni and I slept on the floor talking about a lot of things while sneha was lissening to the ipod on the bed and pretending to sleep.We had set the alarm for 5 and funnily it was only after the alarm rang that all of actually went to sleep. We woke up in like 30 mins cause we had to go to jetty. I wanted to take these people because they had no idea what this place is like- that to early in the morning.The cab ride was expensive and the cab driver was such a jack-ass he ripped us off 150 bucks!!!But it was all worth it considering the fact that both sneha and juni loved jetty. We headed off to Sharma's after that for tea and "kochuri shobjee". Then it was back to Juni's place.We spent sometime on her roof singing away all the songs we could think off.After freshening up, we decided to have 2 more rounds of "life" since the other 2 wanted to win too. Surprisingly they did!!.It's obvious that we had a great time and I for one enjoyed the most cause it was the day right after my ISC had got over so..............We're planning another sleepover. This time at my place. Hope its as good as this one if not better.Ps: Watch out for the next action packed episode of "sleepovers" by me!!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The conflict within.
"It's time.....isn't it?", she asked.
"umm....maybe", the voice replied.
"I don't want to go."
"But we have to.....don't we?"
"I dunoo.....do you want to go?"
"You tell me."
This arguement had no end. That was a fact quite well- known to both. But someone would have to give in, sometime.....somehow.
"Why is it that you always leave it to me?"
"Why can't you decide at the first shot?"
"You should take a decision somtimes......I can be wrong you know!"
"SO!!!........how does it matter even if you do make a mistake? You can always fix it!"
"Some mistakes cannot me fixed!!!"
"Then you will have to live with it."
Silence followed. Not much was said or heard for a while. After all, it is difficult to convince both, especially when they're the same person. The heart and the head reside in that one corp which revolts violently when they both can't take a decision. Both are right in their own way. But there can't be two rights. Can there? And even if they both are right, then who's wrong?
"We should go", said the voice with a very hesitant "we".
"No! I have to go. You'll just come along."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"It isn't. Trust me"
"That's easy....."
"Don't bet on it."
"You sure you want to do this? I mean do you really feel that this is what you want to do?
"You don't trust me?"
"Of course I do?"
"Then why in Lord's name do you persist in asking me this? You, out of all people."
"sigh"
"Tell me something, what do you like about it?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing!"
"Then why are we having such a hard time deciding what has to be done?"
"I don't know."
"Why are you thinking so much then?"
"I'm not thinking......you are!"
"You me, what's the bloody difference? We're the same.Aren't we?"
"You tell me."
And here they go again. Back to the same old drawing board. Waiting for their decision is like waiting for Godot.
"umm....maybe", the voice replied.
"I don't want to go."
"But we have to.....don't we?"
"I dunoo.....do you want to go?"
"You tell me."
This arguement had no end. That was a fact quite well- known to both. But someone would have to give in, sometime.....somehow.
"Why is it that you always leave it to me?"
"Why can't you decide at the first shot?"
"You should take a decision somtimes......I can be wrong you know!"
"SO!!!........how does it matter even if you do make a mistake? You can always fix it!"
"Some mistakes cannot me fixed!!!"
"Then you will have to live with it."
Silence followed. Not much was said or heard for a while. After all, it is difficult to convince both, especially when they're the same person. The heart and the head reside in that one corp which revolts violently when they both can't take a decision. Both are right in their own way. But there can't be two rights. Can there? And even if they both are right, then who's wrong?
"We should go", said the voice with a very hesitant "we".
"No! I have to go. You'll just come along."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"It isn't. Trust me"
"That's easy....."
"Don't bet on it."
"You sure you want to do this? I mean do you really feel that this is what you want to do?
"You don't trust me?"
"Of course I do?"
"Then why in Lord's name do you persist in asking me this? You, out of all people."
"sigh"
"Tell me something, what do you like about it?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing!"
"Then why are we having such a hard time deciding what has to be done?"
"I don't know."
"Why are you thinking so much then?"
"I'm not thinking......you are!"
"You me, what's the bloody difference? We're the same.Aren't we?"
"You tell me."
And here they go again. Back to the same old drawing board. Waiting for their decision is like waiting for Godot.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Theory of Misconceptions.
"have you ever wondered why could never be friends?"
"did you ever believe that you and I could be friends?"
You say you're modern.........
I say you're worse than prehistoric.
You claim to be liberal.........
I say you're more than orthodox.
You say you know me better than anyone else.........
I laugh.....and ask you.......REALLY???!!!!
You say its all my fault that you are how you are.....today....
I say Go!.. But you're the one who won't.
You say you know what's best for me....
I don't think so.
You say it's my life.....but you won't or rather can't let me live it my way.......
I know you really son't care so I'm not cribbing......YET!
You say you're hurt........
I know that.......but you don't want to accept that.
You say you need me to go on............
I can help but you won't take it.
You feel that I can't do it.
How do you know, you never let me try.
You don't want to see me cry.......
That doesn't mean I don't.
Just because you couldn't do it, it's not the end..........
Not that I have to do it to make it up.
You want me to go away..........
I want to.....but you don't let me.
You want me to reach the top.......
How do you know I want to go there at all.
"every coud has a silver lining...........
mine has a golden one."
"did you ever believe that you and I could be friends?"
You say you're modern.........
I say you're worse than prehistoric.
You claim to be liberal.........
I say you're more than orthodox.
You say you know me better than anyone else.........
I laugh.....and ask you.......REALLY???!!!!
You say its all my fault that you are how you are.....today....
I say Go!.. But you're the one who won't.
You say you know what's best for me....
I don't think so.
You say it's my life.....but you won't or rather can't let me live it my way.......
I know you really son't care so I'm not cribbing......YET!
You say you're hurt........
I know that.......but you don't want to accept that.
You say you need me to go on............
I can help but you won't take it.
You feel that I can't do it.
How do you know, you never let me try.
You don't want to see me cry.......
That doesn't mean I don't.
Just because you couldn't do it, it's not the end..........
Not that I have to do it to make it up.
You want me to go away..........
I want to.....but you don't let me.
You want me to reach the top.......
How do you know I want to go there at all.
"every coud has a silver lining...........
mine has a golden one."
Saturday, March 8, 2008
HAMMERED!!!!
yes. maths was horribe. why?. here;s the story....
Once upon a time, there lived a Council in a valley far away. Everyone thought this Council was a "student-friendly" one. Reason: Refer to the last 10 years papers and the frank sample test papers. Every batch that came and went had a smile on their faces when they left because the Council had made their lives. The ISC maths papers are never tough!.
But one fine morning, the Council woke up and said, "Our standards are too low!. Let's spring a bad one on them, then only they'll learn". And so, the unsuspecting innocent little children were subected to immense torture on the 7th of march, 2008 from 2:00 p.m till 5:00 p.m. Dreams and hopes of "stephen's" and "sri ram" were crushed. Little hearts full of aspirations and expectations were washed away by tears. yup!. the paper was BAD!
After solving all those 32 test papers and doing all sorts of text books this is what happens!
And now, this little tale shall end only after i have finished giving all my papers and the results are out. Till then, nobody's living happily ever after (apart from the ppl who's papers have been "damn good") and nobody's keeping their hopes up for a 90+. (well, i know i'm not!)
The "Council" is a BOO!
Once upon a time, there lived a Council in a valley far away. Everyone thought this Council was a "student-friendly" one. Reason: Refer to the last 10 years papers and the frank sample test papers. Every batch that came and went had a smile on their faces when they left because the Council had made their lives. The ISC maths papers are never tough!.
But one fine morning, the Council woke up and said, "Our standards are too low!. Let's spring a bad one on them, then only they'll learn". And so, the unsuspecting innocent little children were subected to immense torture on the 7th of march, 2008 from 2:00 p.m till 5:00 p.m. Dreams and hopes of "stephen's" and "sri ram" were crushed. Little hearts full of aspirations and expectations were washed away by tears. yup!. the paper was BAD!
After solving all those 32 test papers and doing all sorts of text books this is what happens!
And now, this little tale shall end only after i have finished giving all my papers and the results are out. Till then, nobody's living happily ever after (apart from the ppl who's papers have been "damn good") and nobody's keeping their hopes up for a 90+. (well, i know i'm not!)
The "Council" is a BOO!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The Wait....
He stood there, waiting.
He hoped that she would come.
The wind rushed through his hair messing it up even more.
He looked up at the sky and saw the heavens above.
The stars smiled at him telling him to be strong.
He was afraid.
He didn’t know what to tell her.
He didn’t know how to tell her.
All he knew was that, he wanted to tell her.
He looked at his hands, they were trembling with fear.
He clasped them together, praying for this moment to freeze
His body was all numb, his imagination knew no bounds.
He wanted to tell her how much he cared.
He had never in his life been so unprepared.
He pictured her face and stared into her eyes.
He wished to tell her what she meant to him.
His heart was racing, he thought he might cry.
He wanted to make this moment last forever…..
… …”tell her. And make her mine”
Minutes began to pass like hours.
Finally she arrived.
He looked at her and felt as though an eternity had gone by.
He wished to take that heartfelt leap and tell her all.
He wanted this wait to end…..atlast!
She pointed her lashes down,
But he could picture her face.
She was smiling……
He opened his mouth, but spoke with his heart.
She saw his soul-
He was waiting…….
He put his arms around her waist and embraced her uncertainty.
She was shaking…..
He pressed his lips against hers and caught her.
For she was falling………………….
He hoped that she would come.
The wind rushed through his hair messing it up even more.
He looked up at the sky and saw the heavens above.
The stars smiled at him telling him to be strong.
He was afraid.
He didn’t know what to tell her.
He didn’t know how to tell her.
All he knew was that, he wanted to tell her.
He looked at his hands, they were trembling with fear.
He clasped them together, praying for this moment to freeze
His body was all numb, his imagination knew no bounds.
He wanted to tell her how much he cared.
He had never in his life been so unprepared.
He pictured her face and stared into her eyes.
He wished to tell her what she meant to him.
His heart was racing, he thought he might cry.
He wanted to make this moment last forever…..
… …”tell her. And make her mine”
Minutes began to pass like hours.
Finally she arrived.
He looked at her and felt as though an eternity had gone by.
He wished to take that heartfelt leap and tell her all.
He wanted this wait to end…..atlast!
She pointed her lashes down,
But he could picture her face.
She was smiling……
He opened his mouth, but spoke with his heart.
She saw his soul-
He was waiting…….
He put his arms around her waist and embraced her uncertainty.
She was shaking…..
He pressed his lips against hers and caught her.
For she was falling………………….
Friday, February 22, 2008
Scarlet Altar
Time's running out.
I tried to change my thoughts, and they once again returned to my day dreams. A name in the sand never lasts. The waves come in so fast and wash it way. They don't care. They know nothing of feelings. At a distance I see the sun rise towards the heavens. The clouds part making way for the mighty God paying homage to his greatness and worth. The sounds of the children laughing and the feel of happiness herald the sun's arrival.
But wait!. Why is it that I hear nothing?
Fear stains my memories as I reflect on this placid morning. I sit immobilized, waiting for Rage, Fury and Guilt to wrap me in their arms - consume me in their darkness. My soul being barred in a fashion most uncharecteristic of me. Are there answers in silence?. Or is the silence just you listening?. Can you hear what I'm not saying?
With the passage of time even unhappiness began to acquire a certain glow. Time was too fast. It forgot to take care of these unhealed wounds.It had too much of faith in this scarlet warrior. And here I am. Defeated.
Time's run out.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
"THE BOARDS"
It's a nightmare being in the board years of your lives. I think most of my partners-in-crime would agree.At one end there are your parents who remind you every single minute that "you have or ICSE/ISC and you are least bothered" and at the other you're struggling for existance. Let me stick to my situation for now. I have ISC in exactly I don't know how many days.( Pardon me!.my memory fails me!)
Yes, it is this "I don't know, or I don't care" attitude that usually make parent-folk blow their top. Ofcourse, I'm a deadly combination of both you see.And parents these days don't need much reason to blow-up, I mean it's either the children or the maid or the driver who did something wrong. According to my mother(and the ISC language paper 1998) "the youth of today is expected to play newer roles and follow more challenging careers."
Newer roles??..challenging careers??....oh! so thats why they decided to keep cut-off's like 95% and above and all sorts of trash reservations. The education system out here (and probably everywhere else too) has a bunch of dinosaurs perched up there who spent all their lives conspiring how to make our lives miserable.
Back to my point. Just because we're a part of generation-next doesn't mean we can conquer the world. I mean we'd love to but hey!, you're not helping!! So what if we listen to comparatively high level decibled music while studying hindi. (It's hindi!!. & I can't listen to breaking benjamin and numb softly!)
From the outside we may look like we haven't showered for ages but from the inside..its all a bed of roses!
What I'm basically trying to say is that, Relax!..Breathe....the world is not coming to an end tommorrow or sometime soon. (I wish!) "BOARDS" are important. Agreed. We know that. Not Agreed. Sleeping till 8:00 a.m. in the morning is no way connected to the percentage we will be getting in the exams. Incase you haven't noticed, during the exams the "groove" sets in thus resulting in the sudden rise of demand for coffee & a tremendous fall in the supply of sleep. Everything is compensated there.
Hurtling all sorts of insults and reasons as to why you think nothings going to happen out of us won't increase the percentage. For all you know it will decrease it. If you think you're making life simpler and clearer for us by making us aware of "things", believe me, YOUR NOT HELPING AT ALL!.
Besides, majority of the time is spent claiming how so& so's kids have done well here and there and everywhere and how we're probably the most useless things that could ever walk the face of this Earth. You know what I say, I say BOO!.....All you people are a bunch of contradictions. Once you say "oh yea! you're gonna kill it", then you say "I'm gonna kill you if this isn't upto the mark". The relativeness of terms have made life very difficult for simpletons like us. "Doing well" can mean a lot these days!. I shudder to think about the consequences.
All in all, I kindly request no one to panic. The "frank ISC papers"are available and they usually come up with lovely last minute suggestions.( no no! not for me!!.) As I sign off with all my love and luck to those appearing for the boards 08' and have parents who are driving them up the wall, I hear my mother shrieking, "again you're online!!..now you wait..i will break that laptop of yours!), I sit back, close my eyes and see the image of buddha.
Clarity. Peace. Serenity. ( concentrate my child!, you have a long way to go!)
Yes, it is this "I don't know, or I don't care" attitude that usually make parent-folk blow their top. Ofcourse, I'm a deadly combination of both you see.And parents these days don't need much reason to blow-up, I mean it's either the children or the maid or the driver who did something wrong. According to my mother(and the ISC language paper 1998) "the youth of today is expected to play newer roles and follow more challenging careers."
Newer roles??..challenging careers??....oh! so thats why they decided to keep cut-off's like 95% and above and all sorts of trash reservations. The education system out here (and probably everywhere else too) has a bunch of dinosaurs perched up there who spent all their lives conspiring how to make our lives miserable.
Back to my point. Just because we're a part of generation-next doesn't mean we can conquer the world. I mean we'd love to but hey!, you're not helping!! So what if we listen to comparatively high level decibled music while studying hindi. (It's hindi!!. & I can't listen to breaking benjamin and numb softly!)
From the outside we may look like we haven't showered for ages but from the inside..its all a bed of roses!
What I'm basically trying to say is that, Relax!..Breathe....the world is not coming to an end tommorrow or sometime soon. (I wish!) "BOARDS" are important. Agreed. We know that. Not Agreed. Sleeping till 8:00 a.m. in the morning is no way connected to the percentage we will be getting in the exams. Incase you haven't noticed, during the exams the "groove" sets in thus resulting in the sudden rise of demand for coffee & a tremendous fall in the supply of sleep. Everything is compensated there.
Hurtling all sorts of insults and reasons as to why you think nothings going to happen out of us won't increase the percentage. For all you know it will decrease it. If you think you're making life simpler and clearer for us by making us aware of "things", believe me, YOUR NOT HELPING AT ALL!.
Besides, majority of the time is spent claiming how so& so's kids have done well here and there and everywhere and how we're probably the most useless things that could ever walk the face of this Earth. You know what I say, I say BOO!.....All you people are a bunch of contradictions. Once you say "oh yea! you're gonna kill it", then you say "I'm gonna kill you if this isn't upto the mark". The relativeness of terms have made life very difficult for simpletons like us. "Doing well" can mean a lot these days!. I shudder to think about the consequences.
All in all, I kindly request no one to panic. The "frank ISC papers"are available and they usually come up with lovely last minute suggestions.( no no! not for me!!.) As I sign off with all my love and luck to those appearing for the boards 08' and have parents who are driving them up the wall, I hear my mother shrieking, "again you're online!!..now you wait..i will break that laptop of yours!), I sit back, close my eyes and see the image of buddha.
Clarity. Peace. Serenity. ( concentrate my child!, you have a long way to go!)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
vanilla ice-cream loves chocolate sauce??.....
I've always been fascinated by the whole combination of vanilla ice-cream and chocolate sauce. Although I remember having vanilla with loads of other things, the whole deal of having it with chocolate sauce is something that is simply *smacks lips* amazing.
He is exactly the opposite of what she ever wanted.
She is everything he ever wanted.
He's forever confused.
She couldn't be bothered.
He was stubborn as a muel.
She was a lazy lump.
He had a terrible habit of breaking moments
She hated him for that.
He wrote really well, but never let people know that.
She found out, but kept his secret.
His brain didn't develop as well as his biceps.
She was all sensible and mature, who made most of the mistakes.
He was a peace-loving charecter yet got his paws into trouble all the time.
She kind of enjoyed the whole deal of fishing him out of there.
He needed to get high once in a while, said it kept him going.
She frowned at the explanation, but understood in her heart.
He didn't want her to climb those stairs, she was wearing a skirt.
By the time she realized what he had done to help, the damage was already done.
......and so "vanilla ice-cream loves chocolate sauce"
He is exactly the opposite of what she ever wanted.
She is everything he ever wanted.
He's forever confused.
She couldn't be bothered.
He was stubborn as a muel.
She was a lazy lump.
He had a terrible habit of breaking moments
She hated him for that.
He wrote really well, but never let people know that.
She found out, but kept his secret.
His brain didn't develop as well as his biceps.
She was all sensible and mature, who made most of the mistakes.
He was a peace-loving charecter yet got his paws into trouble all the time.
She kind of enjoyed the whole deal of fishing him out of there.
He needed to get high once in a while, said it kept him going.
She frowned at the explanation, but understood in her heart.
He didn't want her to climb those stairs, she was wearing a skirt.
By the time she realized what he had done to help, the damage was already done.
......and so "vanilla ice-cream loves chocolate sauce"
So I am told......
A tiger lily blooms beyond the valley, all alone
its just a flower- a mere flower
It doesnt need to explain its existance
but people cant accept that
Why?...
Because its "just" a flower-
"merely" there for its beauty.
So I am told.
A warrior fights till his last breath
he believes in his abilities till the very end
The strength to carry on lingers till the last second-
that is when the enemy realizes that the warrior is off to heaven-
and that it is HE who remains in hell!
So I am told.
You can't leave!...I need you!
Math class would be so boring without you..
How do i make my balance sheets agree....???
Who do I share my lunch with...???
"look through that empty page and write your heart out..
looks through all those equations and complex meanings-
stare it in the eye..face it....and come out stronger because of it!"
So I am told.
its just a flower- a mere flower
It doesnt need to explain its existance
but people cant accept that
Why?...
Because its "just" a flower-
"merely" there for its beauty.
So I am told.
A warrior fights till his last breath
he believes in his abilities till the very end
The strength to carry on lingers till the last second-
that is when the enemy realizes that the warrior is off to heaven-
and that it is HE who remains in hell!
So I am told.
You can't leave!...I need you!
Math class would be so boring without you..
How do i make my balance sheets agree....???
Who do I share my lunch with...???
"look through that empty page and write your heart out..
looks through all those equations and complex meanings-
stare it in the eye..face it....and come out stronger because of it!"
So I am told.
Being Prefect.....
My official life as a Prefect on-probation began at the end of class XI. The entire euphoria of being elected perfect resulted in hours of nail-biting anxiety. Till the time when our prefectship was bestowed upon us, every one of us prefects were cowering mortals in the hands of the previous batch, all petrified of being “sent up in front!” I often wondered how I was supposed to tell a horde of girls almost all of whom towered over me, to tie their hair and tuck in their shirts. But now as I look back, as a prefect I feel that justice will be served only when the public is acquainted with the prefects point of view.
8:40- The bells rung long back, nevertheless there is a nice crowd of girls( with not only diverse but colourful excuses) in the side-lobby trying to gain access to their classes without getting caught.
Assembly: A time when every prefect wishes she had the powers of the Pied Piper of Hamlin! People just ignore us, remain perched on their desks exchanging “Monday morning gossip” and finishing off files which were supposed to be submitted last week. The mystry of the missing badge and loads of other stories concocted by the girls put the wildest science fiction to shame!
Lunch Break: We witness the end of civilization as we know it. The unfortunate prefects on “canteen & ice-cream duty” who try to maintain order are mostly subjected to fierce-glances and snarls. But at the end of it they do a pretty good job, considering the fact that everything is found in one piece at the end of the break.
And so, my plea goes out to all those girls who mplore silently (and not so silently) “didi please!!!!..don’t send me up in front!!!”. You must realize that we take absolutely no pleasure in exercising our authority in this manner. All we’re asking for is a little co-operation and an uncomplaining acceptance of school rules. (I might as well wish to see a white dragon. Probably that wish would be fulfilled sooner!)
I, personally, have grown close to a lot of juniors along with their impish tricks. It’s the little things that matter- a page torn form an exercise book with a drawing and a few lines saying happy birthday, thrust into my hand after morning assembly the other day was supposed to be a belated birthday card, one that I treasure the most.
At the end of it all, being prefect isn’t just about wearing a conspicuously shiny badge. With it comes responsibilities and pressures, thus preventing us from letting our hair down as and when we please to have a ball! Like any other group we too have our share of ups and downs and exercising control over our peers. But all of it is conquered at the end of it and the strength to do so sets in once when we are lined up to take the pledge. Every minute is truly lived and enjoyed at that moment and from hence forth, there is no looking back!
8:40- The bells rung long back, nevertheless there is a nice crowd of girls( with not only diverse but colourful excuses) in the side-lobby trying to gain access to their classes without getting caught.
Assembly: A time when every prefect wishes she had the powers of the Pied Piper of Hamlin! People just ignore us, remain perched on their desks exchanging “Monday morning gossip” and finishing off files which were supposed to be submitted last week. The mystry of the missing badge and loads of other stories concocted by the girls put the wildest science fiction to shame!
Lunch Break: We witness the end of civilization as we know it. The unfortunate prefects on “canteen & ice-cream duty” who try to maintain order are mostly subjected to fierce-glances and snarls. But at the end of it they do a pretty good job, considering the fact that everything is found in one piece at the end of the break.
And so, my plea goes out to all those girls who mplore silently (and not so silently) “didi please!!!!..don’t send me up in front!!!”. You must realize that we take absolutely no pleasure in exercising our authority in this manner. All we’re asking for is a little co-operation and an uncomplaining acceptance of school rules. (I might as well wish to see a white dragon. Probably that wish would be fulfilled sooner!)
I, personally, have grown close to a lot of juniors along with their impish tricks. It’s the little things that matter- a page torn form an exercise book with a drawing and a few lines saying happy birthday, thrust into my hand after morning assembly the other day was supposed to be a belated birthday card, one that I treasure the most.
At the end of it all, being prefect isn’t just about wearing a conspicuously shiny badge. With it comes responsibilities and pressures, thus preventing us from letting our hair down as and when we please to have a ball! Like any other group we too have our share of ups and downs and exercising control over our peers. But all of it is conquered at the end of it and the strength to do so sets in once when we are lined up to take the pledge. Every minute is truly lived and enjoyed at that moment and from hence forth, there is no looking back!
Metamorphosis.
“The soul would not have a rainbow if eyes not have tears”I live in the broken home of hopes and dreams, a palace of cards now lay shattered at my feet
Walking through the sands of time I find myself musing along my individual path……….
With no destination in mind..
I believe in the third circle of hell
I flirt with death.
I live a life of solitude and vain.
The constant existence of an ongoing pain.
Chalk in my hand, the first time I wrote your name on that board all bare
Remember me sitting in the last row without a single care?
Smearing colours all over…an entangled awful mess…the painting once so beautiful is finally lost..
The one who makes all the sacrifices for me just to put me first, you let me test my broken wings,
Although you and I both know they’re going to hurt.
I step outside and hear people scream in fear
I hear whispers…they’re so near..
Promises broken, all the violence I see
Is this the end?..cant it really be?
You walk upto me..tell me to be strong…
I take a deep breathe close my eyes and count to 3
1…2…..3…..
I open my eyes and I see the sunshine
I think about this special day, and about what you said
You explained it all so clearly, when nothing made sense.
The strength that no one ever saw, was the best
And it was finally transferred to me.
But of course can this really be?
Or is it nothing but just another dream!!
Walking through the sands of time I find myself musing along my individual path……….
With no destination in mind..
I believe in the third circle of hell
I flirt with death.
I live a life of solitude and vain.
The constant existence of an ongoing pain.
Chalk in my hand, the first time I wrote your name on that board all bare
Remember me sitting in the last row without a single care?
Smearing colours all over…an entangled awful mess…the painting once so beautiful is finally lost..
The one who makes all the sacrifices for me just to put me first, you let me test my broken wings,
Although you and I both know they’re going to hurt.
I step outside and hear people scream in fear
I hear whispers…they’re so near..
Promises broken, all the violence I see
Is this the end?..cant it really be?
You walk upto me..tell me to be strong…
I take a deep breathe close my eyes and count to 3
1…2…..3…..
I open my eyes and I see the sunshine
I think about this special day, and about what you said
You explained it all so clearly, when nothing made sense.
The strength that no one ever saw, was the best
And it was finally transferred to me.
But of course can this really be?
Or is it nothing but just another dream!!
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