Just my Luck.

"the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses"

-"afterglow"INXS.

Perhaps I just need a few moments alone........just to reflect. Catch a glimpse of someone struggle with all the perfection that can be musterred. Everyone needs time........clear still light to just bring them back... Have you ever seen the way light caught in the blaze of well-cut jewels struggles?.... no one knows its struggling.... no one knows the clautrophobic sensation its going through. ....it looks so beautiful being tortured doesn't it??

I supposedly find it really hard to tell people what I really think and feel at times. My batchmates used to tell me that I'd make a pretty good politician since " you never say what you really mean." I often wonder if it was all true. Sometimes it didn't seem all that bad an idea as well. My parents would obviously throw a fit, but then again its their job to do so. They always do "odd" things when I decide to just "do my own thing". Needless to say, they don't know me. My mom has a slight idea about the size of my clothes, but she's never too sure so she always screws up with the jeans and the salwat suits. Sometimes her tastes dont match with mine and when I tell her so she gets all wierd. Mom's like this litlte violent kid who'll start throwing tantrums the minute things don't go her way. Lately she's been really obsessed about giving as many "social gathering" clothes because apparently I look like a rag in general. She wants my wardrobe to have a complete make-over. This basically means that she wants all my kinda clothes out and all her bull-shit in. She thinks I'm already through Presidency and that if I go to college dressed the way I usually am, I'm gonna get kicked out.

I got really lucky today. My mother wants me to appear for the Presidency math honours entrance. She told my tuition teacher so and to my surprise my teacher for once in his god damn life decided to save my life. He talked her out of it and explained very clearly that the fact that I would have math as a pass course would be deadly enough.

Mom's really lost it. I've been trying so hard to tell her that dude!, just cause I sed i'd do eco doesnt mean stat n math are supposed to back ups. I kinda wanted english, but the way she's reacting at home, its best if I kept my mouth shut. It's funny how in public she says that " my daughter will do what she likes" and then at home she growls at the sound of english hons. I guess this dual thingy is a trait among all gemini's. It's easy to tell people that " arey fight man! it's ur life!!". When you actually get down to the battlefield and see your parents armed with all the emotional backmail and every possibe mean and method ready to make you do what they want, it gets a wee bit difficult. And it gets harder when you cant cry and tell people. If i'd cry, it wouldnt be because I'm hurt. It would be cause I cant do anything. I'd cry cause I'm helpless.