Crescendo

Come forth this one last time
Is all I ask of you.
Without being and broken,
Is all I ask of you.
Bring forth that which is unsaid
Leave it not behind.
Decide not which is alone, but
that of which is not afraid.
Of anything. Of promise and precision. 
Perfection and prudence, 
Those of lies and pretension,
Almost Cassiopeia.
Cast away somewhere far, 
be there no bridge no ferry,
Not even Charon.
Bring forth that life,
One that is lived in,
my mind.
An entire lifetime, just
in my mind.
Bring forth that question,
In an array of dreams,
that of moment of
Being.

The Kasiopian Love Story

Falling in love with a star
Fell in love with a star

Rock solid shining in the light.
Devoid of any kind of might.
Strengthened by lies and myth
That's who I wanted to be with?

Painted words and etched smiles,
thoughts that are pretty vile
Intentions that pivot around a plot
What I wanted to be NOT

Courage of a crooked mind,
Unlike any other of its kind,
Cracked dreams and crossed lines,
I was almost engulfed in that bile.

I tried to remove you from my thought
And you turned into my day dreams.
Day in and day out, I fought
But nothing changed, it seemed.

Till that one day, when we stopped acting smart.
And let Truth have its day,
Though it wasn't much,
Revelations are never such,
It was time to move on

Secrets of a Different Kind

A certain something that I always knew
was nearing my lips,
but never really reached them. It peeked
through my eyes.
Searching, it asked you, sometimes it asked me.
Asked for some words. Words that it could drape
and travel up to my lips. Wrap itself
in the arms of my voice and waltz.
Slowly.
But this certain something is a feeling
beyond feeling.
A fragrance that floats in the air;
one that is speechless.
You know it.
I am aware of it.
Neither is it concealed from the world at large
I wonder what kind of a secret it is.

The Love Song of Shrestha G Mullick

Making a move- the first one
is often the hardest.
The past rebukes and doesn't offer reconciliation.
But I had to go.
What called, and why I went, I do not know.
Time was just the same. Fast and unforgiving.
It always ran when we were together.
Did the same again.

I asked a thousand questions before I took that step.
No answers came.
Bravery of a different kind, but pain like never before.
If betrayal is brutal, then this was devastation.
Yet, I was there.
What called, and why I went, I do not know.
Revenge shuffled and laid itself before me.
Like a gambit I felt the urge.
I asked myself a thousand questions, before I picked them up
No answers came.

Love whined in a corner. I didn't know what to say.
I took a step forward and it took ten steps back.
I pleaded for it to help me.
It handed me a mirror- and the Past rebuked me!
Friendship was wounded. It would not be right to ask it for help.
Nevertheless, because it is what it is.
It is brave.
I asked it to stay with me. I was afraid it might not approve.
I knew, that it was my last hope. Without it, I could not pass those Iron Gates of the Past.
Time, the traitor began its tricks. And I was afraid. Again.
Inferno was waiting for me, adorned with mirages of the past.
Fire enough it is.


But it knew what was right.
I knew it was wounded.
Another blow of that kind would be the end of it all.
It held my hand tight- and said- " This won't hurt a bit"
Why?
Said it nothing. Secret it was. Only for the ears of the brave.
Conversation sprang like a burst of Crackers- slightly dim, but beautiful nevertheless.
Warmth rose, and eyes shimmered.
Confessions made its way and the world suddenly seemed a better place to live in.

Just as comfort was getting greedy,( and comfortable)
It was time.
I felt like a fool. Time had laid out a bait.
And I fell for it. I was angry.
But.
Friendship spoke. Quietly(!)
I did not want to know. I was angry.
What called, and why I went, I do not know.
I wanted to know that secret.
And so it said.

"They spoil every love story by saying its going to last forever"

And even after all this time.
Always.

Truth

A frequency that refuses to match all others.
what brings one to a stop
change.
changes everything.
The Truth, The whole truth and nothing.
But the Truth.
What comes and goes, and leaves all others aside.
Statements and reverie. What comes of it.
evolution to make it better.
what comes of it is far worse than ever imagined.
clustered reactions that make no difference to
betterment.
Further bruised if you think of it.
Saying it walks- it ran.
Ran away.
Torn and sewn together- entangled to what is to come and go.
No. This time no one spoke of Michelangelo.
The evening was spread against the sky- but we did not go.
You and I seized to exist.

The truth pierced the sand glass
and the world drowned.
No prince came- no world to save.
What of us.
Friendship and love waited and withstood.
But Truth prevailed above all.
The Truth decided. Asked nothing. But decided.
Decisions.
Taken.
Made.
And now Truth makes it way to the rest of the world
All I ask is that you wait a while.
Wait.
Wait for the flower to bloom.
Till you say it is going to die.
Nevertheless.
Wait.
Wait for the dog to sniff the air.
Till you declare its fate in the smoke.
Wait.
Wait for the 2 people to take a moment. Friends they are.
Till you declare that it is no more.
Illusion it was.

grip

how longingness for happiness turns to fear
how one takes a look at the world from a window once where they dreamed of happiness
together.
togetherness.
a rain washed afternoon turns into a shower of memories that evening.
its still raining.
the sun peaked once.
as longingness cries in a corner, lightening consoles memories.
that home was ours. those moments are now frozen in time.
as one looks back and a tear unknowingly makes it way
happiness came on a platter. a platter that wrenched the heart at a time when there used to be so little time to appreciate it.
that road back home was the longest without-
that sharing was incomplete without-
that music was incomplete without-
everything was there and now nothing because-
today happiness is limited. limited to words.
words have escaped. and broken faith, belief, hope-
taken away an innocent smile.
roles begin to reverse.
one who was alone is no more.
one who was happy is no more.
this is the curse of friendship. friendship that was to stay.
expectation and desire crept its way around
prey if you like.
time seems to have taken a detour. detoured at a cost.
a cost that one cannot meet. at any cost.

A reply to "those lines"

Neither here nor there.
Nor naive yet no fault
Neither pinned yet plagued
A possibility that will negate
Eventually!
The labyrinths of the mind- all alike
neither factional nor separated.
Blood and bone of an entity
Far away from reality
Neither here nor there
a journey throughout despair
Eventually
Are you a mystery or just a mind game?
Will you reveal or deceive?
Eventually?
Neither friend nor foe
Ah! But what of hopes?
Eventually!

Jeans: An Apology

how did I not know
and how could I not tell.
Not near the end, far away from the beginning
crimson tears and a pale frame, what beauty is enraged.
Captured in a mistake, bound in a box.
A moment of despair and darkness of thought
Tears and tears and tears
No time at all
People wish to move on but want to remain so badly that they eventually do.
DO. Somehow.
Remains of dust and frost, stained in some jean- unknown
Tears of a rash move, and the regret stroked
Fangs of Cold and the claws of a loss- one that was not meant to be mine
Brightness of a falling star, and painful wish that came with it
Pinned against that jean- yet again unknown

(In)Significance

As I try through the looking glass
Nothing.
Colour and camouflage of the street
at a distance, flicker and flash
Alleys and lanes all lead to a beginning of another
Within the hustle and bustle
Existence.
Faces among crowds, paces around corners.
daily death frosted in the eyes of a gazer
A raunchy life chiseled into a lost smile
Shouts and call-outs brewed somehow-
Movement!
Structures of red brick and green windows
staring at humanity!
Cuisines of authenticity or ordinance
a gruel of a thousand lives in one-
Conglomerated!
Focus shifts from one association to the other
The shutter snaps through the truth largely ignored,
an image retrieved is that of a way to accept.
All of frames. Nothing but defeated.
Finger-paint and chocolate wrappers
Beetle spit and smiling hawkers
Collision! One of a kind.

Revealed.

To dust and back.

Iron birds wish to fly
Triangles of them fighting to stay alive
Across the coast.
Heaviest of lights unfolding under one breath
It will all come to a desolate end.
Now that they have disappeared.
A cruel time winter is
Time is stolen from us
Harsh and heaving on those beautiful wings
I stand here and stare at my last fragment of a dream
From rock piles and pebble paintings
I am once again frozen in scream.
Never heard.
From one place to another
From one sky to another
I search for what they call faith.
Assurance embraces me at a window
A silent whisper tells me to go on
An immovable spirit speaks.
Lingers on a while.
Mountains stand for what they believe in
A call to climb
Towards the light, inviting and inciting
The sunshine peeps behind a cloud
Tells me, “ Leave it all behind”
As faith throws open the window
“Let us go then You and I…When the evening is spread out against the sky”

Of Coffee and Us

So you understand.

As that lock of hair drops lazily on my face.

A little to the left maybe.

The thought to capture it in a frame

And you change your mind.
It's time to go. Time to carry on.
A melody springs through and remembrance is achieved.
I'm walking down.
Trying to go yet desperately wanting to stay.
This rain washed evening and the coffee shop remain.
Conversation.

Never Ending as always.
So we caught each other by the corner of our eyes.
Ah!. It has been that way.

All through!!.
And so I smile.
Yet I have no answer when you ask me why.
Someone got his edge back and is ready to win again.
I welcome him back.
After all no one heals faster than you.
Our good-byes are always so short.
Its always been that way.
Yet we know that there is something more which we could have said.
But we don't. Because we are not such people to do so.
And then I take a moment and tell myself
They spoil every love story by saying its gonna last forever

Prince of Red

One thousand eyes blink.
A crooked smile reflects, endlessly.
Distorted memories staring from the shards.
Pendulum.
Keeping the constant time.

He didn't cry for the races
it seemed before his time.
Once more the runs come afresh; prevailing.
He didn't cry for the placings
too far away to mind
He didn't cry for the princess
even thought he knew.."she could be mine!"
Laughter.
Once again.

Mistake.

Something is undone. Unfulfilled.
Unheard.
Rain and scribbles, thought and smoke.
All stuck up on a tattered parchment
But you never know..........they'll just come alive.
Again.
There is no need to follow rules.
Heh. Right.
Answer me.
Somehow.
Thoughtful and simple.
Quiet and Complicated.
I'm there somewhere. I wish not to be heard.
My innocent hopes contrived.
Faceless.
Mirrored and returned to nothing.
Its all a flashback.
Roads and reels
Lightening and Doors.
I dont think of the Black and White.
Keep it away.....far away from my sight.
Peace long forgotten.
Indeed.

Caught up

Sometimes I'm not certain why you bother.
Do you at all?
Sometimes I don't know what I'm thinking of
Far from it, I really can't say why.
Falling from an edge, unheard and uncared
Hazel and dreamy, I can't hear the words said.
Eventually you' find the voice, though there would be no place for dreams.
A moment for reflection. Wait and watch.
I'm actually rummaging for an answer.

Pujo 08~ (part two)

This has been the first time in all these years of pujo that I went to madox square every single day. The pandal as usual is very simply made and the "pratima" was as always very nice. This place happens to be a hub for all those people who stay in and around ballygunge. Actually its so popular that people from other places come and hang around here too.

I usually end up meeting anyone and everyone here during pujo. Since I was there practically every single day I met 5 times the people I generally meet. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It was really funny. The first day I went was not my best because I was dressed quite shabbily and I remember Aditya coming and telling me why I was dressed like "sri aurobindo" (not that he dresses shabily its just that it wasnt quite fit for the occasion. i'll spare u ppl the details.)
I was with rohit and ankhi initially. Rohit was pissed off because we had made plans with a lotta ppl from our class to meet at madox and most of them ditched. He kept hopping around the entire place trying to keep up with a hundred of his friends who happened to meet. Every time someone called and asked where we were he would howl n say " protimar daan dik na baa dike aye!!".Rohini came for like 3 minutes and ran off. Now this is one thing that really ticked me off. I mean no matter where we were he will always make me walk all the way back to idol through all that "bheer-bhaar".
All through he kept on grumbling about how he would never make plans with ug-1 again. hahahahahaha!!!
I ran into a lot of ug-3's there. Rohan dada was being a dude that he is and hanging with the xavarian maals. Nimmo shila da shruti ayashman and loads of other people were there. The only thing they had to say to me-"where is prantick??"..heheheheheheheee....!!
Prantick was late as always and after finishing 50% of my sms balance the guy turns up. I had a good time taking his trip because the fool has gone and bought himself a pair of converse which are not all star!!!....With a lot of help from priyo da and rohan da the evening went off well.

Prantick and priyo da decided to walk me home. Not that they aren't generally chivalrous its just that they lack it most of the time if u know wat i mean. Prantick had enough reason to want to come because since he was late he didn't get much time to spend with me. hahahaha!!
All his hopes and dreams in that context were shattered cause I hardly spoke to him. I was too bust chatting with priyo da about a hundres million things which dont usually crop up in my head when we're in college.

The next day which happened to be oshtomi was saree wearing day. I had the nerve to go to madox in a saree. But this time neither madox nor ppl there got any attention from me cause i was too busy clinging on to my saree. Not to mention trying hard not to trip and fall over ppl with my heels. I can be quite a princess at times really. Finally after a horde of compliments aastha rohan and I ran off to mama mia for dinner!!....

The rest of the days were just random plans with random ppl here n there. And since it is madox u tend to meet ppl there even tho u havent quite made a plan with them. Rohit had a gala time because he got to rip food off from both Ishita and me. But its not that I spared him. He did have to blow cash on me too. hahahahahahaha!!!

All in all, like very year, this year was a blast too.
=)

Pujo 08~ (part one)

SO many people!!....Everywhere.!!...Just people and more people.
It's like this crazy rush everywhere. All sorts of colours and creatures. Aray, I mean u know everyone dresses up like a lot during this time. Well, most people do.(that doesnt mean everyone looks good okay!) Like every year cal pujo is the most happening time of the year. It's like this one big "biye bari" where everyone's invited.

All sorts of mishti and "khabar-dabar" all over the place with the addition of unknown relatives popping in from here and there and everywhere. Now I personally don't have a problem with them because I jsut ignore them, but this whole deal of barging into my room jst to pull my cheeks and watch me wear a sari is very annoying. Ma baba just refuse to understand and play along!!
The sole reason as to why I put up with this nonsense- "Goodies!!!!"( $$$$$)
Yes, I know you must be thinking what a selfish brat I am. *bows*

The good part- All night out with friends. We went to the most random places ever. Not to mention stopping over at the taj bengal just because people wanted to pee!!.=)
We drove around the entire city- from mohamad ali park and college street to behala and bosepukur. We went to salt lake and airport side too. We stopped over at Gautams for chocolate milkshake, coffee and this horrible egg roll which made mudita siddharth n me sick!!
At about 2:30 am we went to jodhpur park. Didnt quite seem like its was the middle of the night. Soooo many people....sucha lotta noise....sooo much of traffic!!" baap re baap"
We did balloon shooting where rashi and addy displayed some pretty good talent. Then came the rides. Mudita siddharth addy n me were jumping for the ferris wheel where as shreedhar chickened out and aastha followed suit. hahahahahahahahaha!!
Since I tend to feel a little scared initially on the ride and addy is well aware of that, he decides to keep my mnd of it by talking about the wierdest things ever- the CAT exams. Last year I remember we had to talk about maths!!...sheesh!...Just imagine. I need a 14 year old to calm me down on a ride.

By the time we finished with the ride, mudita and I were on the verge of puking. (its the egg rolls fault im telling u ).
We pushed off to lake ccd.There we realized that they have only one loo!!!!....God!!
We hung around there for sometime while addy doodled on siddharth's phone after eating up everyone's sandwiches and rashi was giving the ccd ppl advice on their table arrangements and how they should have extra ketchup and mustard sachets on their tables. oh well, after that got over we left. We dropped Mudita home and then reached tivoli court (oh! thats where addy aastha rashi and I stay!!)

Now here comes the best part. Aastha had told her mom that we'd be back by 1. We came home at 4. We didnt know what to do. We decided to go to Rashi's house and spend the night there and next morning tell aunty that we forgot to take the keys and didnt want to disturb people so we hung out at rashi's house. We were in the lift and suddenly aastha's mom called. We were literally struggling to keep the lift door from opening. Addy like a fool pressed the button and the damn door opened with this huge noise loud enough to wake the dead.

The dirty look all three of us flashed at addy was worth watching. really!
Anyway. We ran to aastha's house and made up this cock n bull story about how we were watching a movie at rashi's place and having a gala time. After a lot of pursuading and sorry saying aunty bought the story. She left and aastha and I sighed in relief and went off to bed.

This was one of the days.
Wait till the next one comes.

Agni

"Agne naya supatha raye asman
visvani deva vayunani vidvan;
Yuyodhyasmajjhuranameno
bhuyistham te nama-uktim vidhema."

Some call it a belief
Some say its tolerance
Some made it the foundation and frame
Some used it as a catalyst within.
Some felt it sooth the moment
Some claimed it to be the end.
Some wanted it to be tamed
sadly they did not know it's not easy dancing with a flame.
It brings the invitation to the world beyond
It bears witness to the 7 promises taken
With its existence comes a new bond
And thus it is then that mankind awakend.

The Twisted Wish

I'm feeling evil on a night like this.
It feels like some kind of a twisted wish.
It's tearing me to shreds, laughing at my helpless Fate.
Oozing down slowly, it's the blood of hate.
Pleasured to the full extent, burning me to the ground.
Smacking its lips, oh look what its found!
Fighting for a lust that turned to ash
Struggling for this lie till it's very last.
Swearing by the night's end, its not going to let me pretend.
Well.....not until its fully content.

Skyla

In the silver majestic moonlight
A fairy tale turns to dust.
As the witching hour begins
So begins the carnival of rust.
Feeling lost and confused
Feeling lost and used.
Dreaming of far off lands, covered in sand
Within all the battles and the sparks
Searching for the light, the light in the dark.
She belongs to the warmth, heat and the flame
Does she believe that life is a game?
Consumed by Fate and mistrust
How will she encounter the truth and the just?
Chasing her own monsters, dreaming her own dreams.
Fighting the freezing cold with fire
Aiming high, she will grasp her desires.
Enabling the impossible without the obvious obstacles
At times locked up in the cages. with her thoughts
Gobbled up in some visually categorized stages.
Resisting the night, enduring the day
Strength, knowledge and power to take them without further delay.

Chaos Theory.

Chaos.
A lot of chaos.
And not because there were 3500 candidates for the exam.
But because of the parents of more than 85% of those candidates.
Man!!.....Do you have the slightest idea as to how annoying it is to have parents fluttering about when you're there for an entrance. It's like my child will die if I don't be with him/her. My child has not given the class 12 exams. He/she has just learned how to walk. I must be with my child or else some grave problem shall befall him/her and thus his/her career will me doomed for ever.
I mean it's like most of the confusion and problem was created but exceptionally nosy parents.
They want their child's name and roll number to be called out before any one else's. They will not breathe till they have personally ensured that the child is sitting in the assigned room.
What's even worse- THEY WILL SPREAD NEWSPAPERS ON THE CORIDOOR LEADING TO THE EXAMINATION HALL AND SIT THERE AND WAIT TILL THE PAPER IS OVER AND THE KID IS OUT.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Lord what has the world come to!!!!...............It's like a rapid fire round regarding the exam awaits them the minute they step out of the hall. It's either that or the fact that they're being stuffed with food in their mouth as if they haven't eaten for centuries cause they were in space all this time. sheeesh!!!!

Most of my entrances were ushered in with a lot of rain!!....A LOT OF RAIN! It was actually quite funny cause watching a whole lot of weird people panic because they thought theywouldn't make it was hilarious. All sorts of colourful umbrellas and parents going wild was one hell of an experience. I had a good laugh.
It's actually been quite a while since I genuinely had a good laugh about such stupid issues.